The stress of daily living can be tough.
Sometimes business meetings drag on interminably.
Sometimes people are stupid. Sometimes you wish you
could jump out of the window.
Solutions can be hard to come by.
But now a
revolutionary new product designed
to give you that extra advantage and
live life to your fullest potential
is finally here. And it does not involve exercise, drugs
Wouldn't you like to smile in the face
of idiocy without grinding your teeth down into little
Wouldn't you like to feel quietly superior
against overwhelming odds created by overwhelmingly odd
Wouldn't you like to have a secret weapon
when your boss adds another task to your plate...and then
goes for coffee?
IMMAT ("It Makes My Ass Tired")
bracelet is finally here:
Borne out of
the frustrations of dealing with people, places, and events
that make for tired asses, the IMMAT bracelet was loosely
based on the WWJD bracelet craze of several years ago.
But despite it's inauspicious beginnings, the
IMMAT bracelet is designed to empower man (and woman)
kind. And that seems like something that Jesus would
You are sitting in a meeting and someone
describes the new mandatory communication training as a
"tentacle-to- tentacle experience toward growth and
development." You simply rub
your IMMAT bracelet and the urge to vomit dissipates
quickly. That's empowerment.
You find yourself on a blind date with someone
who talks incessantly about his devotion to the art of
square dancing. You smile and give the IMMAT salute
(slightly shifting your behind in your chair).
You are now an overcomer.
You discover that a local dentist (who makes
10 times your salary) does not know in which war the Battle of
Gettysburg was fought. Consequently, you become
concerned about your new dental work since you now seem to be
picking up certain radio frequencies. Your
new IMMAT mantra gives you strength.
You find yourself driving in rush hour traffic
when a slow moving pickup truck with some guy sitting in the
flatbed pulls out in front of you....the kind of guy whose
butt crack is probably showing. You reach for your
bracelet and are reminded that you
can continue to live in
The IMMAT bracelet is designed for overt and
covert usage. Tell your friends about IMMAT....but keep
it secret from your enemies. Remember, it's for your
very own personal stress relief. And it's a thousand
times more powerful than those stupid stress balls.
Look what these satisfied users have to
Having been the proud owner of the Beta version of
IMMAT, I want to thank my old friend for the privilege and
attest to it's value. With minimal practice you will be able
to sit thru patently absurd meetings and smile. Nothing can
bother you unless you lose focus. That is the true
value...it's right there and all you have to do is chant the
IMMAT mantra, grab your bracelet and focus returns. I would
caution the casual user not to wear two. While you might think
this would better serve both cheeks...it may bolster your
relief to the point of giddiness or hysteria...hard to
explain. Another caution, best not to respond to "What is
making you so happy?" with "My ASS ISN'T
TIRED!" ...... JDB
I too derive comfort from the IMMAT, Indiana being my
domicile. I don't don the corporate mantle, but have many
stories from my personal life where the IMMAT saved my ass.
It's so easy to use! I just put it on and go. The mantra has
become second nature. Road rage is gone. The tendency to axe
murder...gone. The alcoholic binges, frequenting the seedy
strip clubs, the gambling, the street drugs, the propensity
towards prostitut...Oh. Sorry. Anyway, it's unbelievable. I
encourage anyone who hasn't tried it to give it a go. It will
change your life too. I'm sure glad I did! .......
I have found that my ass has been tired more and
more frequently in recent days. Consequently, I have been
using my hand (in public) to rub my posterior for relief.
Although this self-soothing technique has kept me from
suffering from a tired ass, I have made my friends disgusted
Your new IMMAT wrist bands will literally
save my "ass" from embarr"ass"ment and possible commitment in
the local psychiatric facility. Rubbing this handy wrist band
is something that I can do anywhere, any time, and in any
thinking! ...... Methane
Year after year after year, my ass has been shrinking
from sitting in those comfortable boardroom chairs while
listening to impressive presentations....."not."
receiving my IMMAT bracelet, I can truthfully say....my ass
has gotten bigger and I now ENJOY those inane meetings. Thank
you so much!
I'm now off to another "bored"
meeting...and feeling GOOD about it! Again, thank you Sandy
for helping me get my ASS back!!! You saved my life/ass...and
with this new product I just may be here for another 30
Not responsible for subliminal
messages. ...... Lt James
.........I was called into a meeting. Not just ANY
meeting, but a meeting to plan when we were going to have
a meeting........As my eyes rolled up in the back of my head,
and my ass went numb, I looked down at my trusty IMMAT and had
a brainstorm. I made an abrupt jerking motion, (kind of like
I'd been shocked, or maybe it looked more like a seizure). I
reached down, picked up my pager (the one that hasn't worked
for a year and a half), and announced, "I'm sorry, whatever
you all decide is OK with me, I have to take this." I then
promptly left the room. Such ingenuity clearly came as a
result of "de-stressing" with my
IMMAT. Thanks again IMMAT.
Because of you, my ass may never be tired
again! ......... bk (aka) don't touch
IMMAT has given me back my
sanity....... bureaucracy reigns wildly but not well
here. Two examples will do. In the motor vehicle bureau, the
managers were instructed to remove the clocks from the walls.
Yes,really. Apparently the Commissioner didn't know that
citizens now carry watches........ Waiting one's turn isn't so
bad (service is steady, and employees are pleasant), but
contemplating that some idiot (paid with my tax dollars) is
making that sort of policy decision makes me steam. My IMMAT
band soothes me sufficiently, so that when leaving the bureau
I am completely free of road rage.
Secondly, an office
which exists to help people with a particular social problem,
has a VIP who has a "One Way -- Mine" sign in his office. So,
problem solving outside the box is a vice. And success
achieved unconventionally is, well, invisible. This
perspective challenges even the awesome strength of the IMMAT
salute. You can imagine that the IMMAT band gets twisted
nearly to its breaking point, but then, astonishingly,
twisting somehow releases the resting power of IMMAT. The
IMMAT band is quite simply the equivalent of chamomile
tea! ................. serenissima
IMMAT Treatment Day 2
IMMAT Treatment Day 21
The above photos give a good visual
impression of an IMMAT treatment success program. Notice that
the photo on the top embodies a tired ass at the end of a long
work day. Three weeks later, the photo on the bottom clearly
demonstrates that the IMMAT has been working. Notice that the
tired lines are gone and that the cheeks look more refreshed
and resilient with a healthy glow.
When all is said and done can you really
afford not to own an IMMAT
Take a look at these satisfied
are made from 100% silicone, and are
stronger and longer lasting than rubber bracelets. At this time, we offer
our bracelets in only one size. The
bands are 8 3/8" around and will fit most adults and
large-framed teenagers. They are
0.5" Wide (about the width of an average
thumb nail) with an average thickness of 0.08" (Roughly 2 dimes thick).
IMMAT bands now come in three colors: an
exquisite purple, camoflage and royal blue--all with
black debossed lettering. An exclusive IMMAT DVD and
beautiful color brochure accompanies your order. You
will be proud to let others know whether your ass is
tired or not.
To order your IMMAT bracelet via credit card
or PayPal, press the order link below. Ordering is easy
and convenient so you have no excuse. Order
today. Place your order specifications for color in the
comment box during the order process. (Please allow up
to 2 weeks for delivery).
IMMAT bracelet today!
Your feedback is valuable. Stop by our
blog and let us know how the IMMAT bracelet has changed your
life. Go here